Eric Johnson

Eric Johnson is a man. However, upon receiving his “man card,” he quickly traded it in for a pack of baseball cards, two sticks of gum, and a propensity for making bad puns. Upon taking on the role of “man writer” at tkTwinCities, he frantically attempted to re-acquire his “man card.” His success in doing so has yet-to-be-determined.

What qualifies you to write Man Up? My penis, I suppose.

Who would win in a flex-off—Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or Arnold Schwarzenegger? “The Situation” would win in this and any other kind of  “off.”

Who would you most like to co-star in a movie with? Taylor Swift or George Clooney. I’d say it’s for different reasons, but I have a crush on both of them. (And I would be played by Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie about my life. This is not debatable.)

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? Quaker Oat Squares. Yes, seriously.

I cannot live without: Google. I seriously feel naked when I don’t have the internet…I also feel naked when I’m not wearing pants. I also love not wearing pants. I guess that means I love feeling naked, so by some transitive property I guess that means I love not having the internet. I think I just turned my entire world upside down…

When I was a kid I used to… play baseball every day in the summer. Literally. I’m not exaggerating even a little bit. There was a park by my house and my brothers and our friends would play rain or shine every day. Every. Single. Day.

You should probably know that I… will get angry if you don’t believe that when I say we played baseball literally every day, I mean literally every day. Don’t question this fact. Seriously. Don’t. And, no, you didn’t “kind of do the same thing.” There are seven other people in the world who know what I mean, and nobody else will ever understand.

Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves or Wild? In order: 1. Twins 2. Twins 3. Twins 4. Twins

What do you want to do before you die? Attend a game 7 of the World Series — preferably one that involves the Twins.

How do you feel about morning people? I hate them more than I hate Justin Bieber. And you don’t even want to know how much I hate Justin Bieber.

Connect: @Ejoh24
Contact Me: [email protected]