Dirty Pop: “Country’s Biggest Night” is all about Carrie

By Amanda

Modern Family fans were probably fuming that the CMA Awards interrupted the best television show of the year last night. I can understand. I’m a huge MF fan. But I also love Carrie Underwood. Enough to sit and watch three hours of Southern twang.

Carrie Underwood at the 2010 CMA Awards. Photo from Zap2it

Underwood opened the show with co-host Brad Paisley and Keith Urban (Does he always wear the same shirt? He looks great in it, but I swear he’s wearing the same thing every time I see him). Underwood usually does no wrong in my book, but did anyone else think it sounded like she was trying too hard to scream over the band? And I didn’t love her first of SEVEN show outfits. She looked like a misfit ringleader with H-O-T red heels.

Within minutes, Underwood redeemed herself when she changed into her second outfit, a silver-sequined mini dress. Her next outfit (pictured), a pale pink mini with rosettes on the bottom half was my favorite of the night. Underwood also looked stunning in her third mini, a green dress with asymmetrical draping. An orange and yellow-striped floor-length dress was nice, and she was pretty in her purple performance ball gown, but she looked like a Southern cupcake in her final dress.

Though she didn’t win any awards, the show was all about Carrie. Host Carrie. New Olay spokeswoman Carrie. Chronicles of Narnia theme song-singer Carrie. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Carrie. It seemed like she was on every other commercial, in addition to being on stage every 10 minutes. At one point, my friend asked if country music was allowed to have an event without Carrie Underwood. The answer is a resounding no. The American Idol is part of every country event for that reason. She’s an American idol, literally and figuratively.

The night really belonged to country’s “It” couple, Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, who took home Female and Male Vocalist of the Year. Birthday girl Lambert won four awards, while her fiancé Shelton won two. Lady Antebellum also walked away a double winner.

“Country’s Biggest Night” is definitely a party for the Nashville and country music-loving folk, but as I watched, I realized how much of a fair-weather country fan I am. I wasn’t interested in the Zac Brown Band, Rascal Flatts or Kenny Chesney. Even Taylor Swift’s performance of “Back to December” underwhelmed me. In fact, I was most impressed with actress Gwyneth Paltrow. Her singing debut was just as good if not better than some of country’s “greatest artists.” If that’s not a sign that country music is just not for me, I don’t know what is.

Best performances:

1. Miranda Lambert and Sheryl Crow’s tribute to Loretta Lynn, featuring Loretta Lynn
2. Carrie Underwood—“Mama’s Song”
3. Gwyneth Paltrow—“Country Strong”
4. Sugarland—“Stuck Like Glue”
5. Brad Paisley singing Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” and “Paparazzi” while looking at Lady Antebellum and telling the group its songs were stuck in his head. Watch here at about the 4:09 mark.

Worst performances:

1. Reba McEntire—“If I Were a Boy”—why were you covering a Beyoncé song? This isn’t American Idol.
2. Rascal Flatts—it doesn’t even matter what the song was. You were boring. Really boring.
3. Miranda Lambert—“That’s the Way the World Goes Round”—I just don’t like this song. At all.
4. George Strait. Blahhhhh, I know you’re like an institution, but you’re boring too.
5. The wannabe country singer Kid Rock. Though, his performance prompted a very important question from my friend: “Is this the same guy who sang “Bawitdaba“? baahahaah. Yes. Yes it is.

Your turn Dirty Poppers: What was your favorite Underwood outfit? Are you going to race to see Paltrow, Minnesota hunk Garrett Hedlund and Blair Leighton Meester in Country Strong? Spill in the comments below, or write me a country tune and send it to [email protected].

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